Gaslamp Ball

Former Padres closer Heath Bell shot a commercial for the company that did his home renovation. Presumably there was a deal in place that gave Bell a discount if he created a commercial upon its completion. There must have been something in the contract about tweeting construction updates as well, because Bell has been tweeting about it for months, always making sure to not so casually drop the name of the company.

The commercial script is at one moment cringe worthy and the next charming. For instance, I like when he pops up from behind a wall made of Tuscan stones or says "It's my garage, it's awesome." Then I groan when he says "It's an amazing outdoor kitchen, OH YEAH!" or speaks nonsensical statements like "...and I've wanted what I got."

In any case, Bell describes the finished product as the backyard of his dreams, which is nice, but I always imagined Heath Bell's dreams being a little goofier and having more personality. I was totally expecting his backyard would be a mixture of a Chuck E. Cheese and a McDonald's play land.

Like Bell himself, his backyard looks like it's trying to be a little more fun than it actually is. They're both classy in spots and just tacky enough in others that nobody will want to buy them in 2 years.

I like the pool, the patio, the grills and the fire pit, but I'm not a fan of the fake boulders and mini-campfires that just seem to be thrown in place randomly like some weird Paleolithic amusement park.

Still, even with my mild criticism and the fact that Bell will never be a Padre again, I'd be willing to participate in any future pool parties as long as bathing suits are optional.